Haunted Attraction Reviewed: Halls of Horror
Website: www.hallsofhorror.net
Location of Attraction: Palmerton PA
Date of Review: 10/2/2021
Total Number of Attractions Available: 1
Overall Haunted Attraction Rating: 9/10
Entertainment & Food Rating: 8/10
Atmosphere Rating: 9/10
Overall Costume & Makeup Rating: 9/10
Overall Cast & Crew Rating: 10/10
Overall Set Design & Special Effects Rating: 8.5/10
Overall Scare/Thrill Factor Rating: 8.5/10
Overall Feedback: Located in the small town of Palmerton Pennsylvania is Halls of Horror, right on the main strip of town. Don’t judge the book by it’s cover when visiting these folks, as what happens inside the doors of this attraction is sure to leave long lasting and nightmarish memories! Halls of Horror caters to the avid haunt goers who enjoy a more “extreme” experience, as they utilize a heavy amount of profanity, mature/adult content, and a hands on approach to providing scares. Halls of Horror offers two ways to experience their attraction, the original haunt OR the BLOOD EXPERIENCE! If you don’t mind getting messy then the Blood Experience is the way to go!
Ample street parking is usually available within a brief walking distance of the haunt. Prior to snagging tickets you’ll have to complete your waiver, any guests under the age of 18 will need parental/guardian consent. After signing your waiver you’ll proceed forth to the ticket booth. It is here where you’ll make the infamous decision… be a pansy and do the original haunt experience OR choose to live on the wild side and participate in the BLOOD EXPERIENCE! General admission tickets run for $25 and the Blood Experience tickets run for $40. Included with the Blood Experience is a white Halls of Horror t-shirt that you’ll wear during your journey. The t-shirt covered in blood and all other sorts of gunk certainly makes for a nice keepsake! Halls of Horror doesn’t possess much of a midway, primarily just a few photo-op booths and a roaming scare actor, but several local restaurants are within walking distance, making for a perfect dinner and haunt experience!
At Halls of Horror there is no such thing as “safety in numbers” as the max group size is 4 guests. Most of our squad entered the attraction in groups of 2 or 3, which allowed for a more intimate and interactive experience! Heck, they’ll even let you go through solo if you want! Halls of Horror does an excellent job at spacing groups, ensuring you’ll never encounter another group when inside the attraction. Once at the entrance to the attraction, those participating in the Blood Experience will receive a pair of safety goggles. A ghostly host will review the rules, reiterate what you just signed up for, and provide you with the safe word for your journey… It's not uncommon for patrons to “chicken out” when going through Halls of Horror. After being given one final chance to change your mind, you’ll be sent forth to the dark and eerie basement where all hell breaks loose and your nightmarish journey begins!
Once inside the attraction itself guests should expect to experience 20 minutes of non-stop action. You’ll encounter maniac nuns, a trigger happy dentist, USDA certified butcher, crazed asylum patients, malpractice Doctor, clowns, redneck hillbillies, and much more! Is that enough variety for you? The majority of the scenes possessed significant interaction with the scare actors, we’ll list some of these encounters below:
The Nun has no time for games so you better sit down in her confessional and confess your deepest, darkest sins! The Nun deemed several of our members bound for hell as she grabbed the collar of our shirt with both hands, lifted us out of the confessional seat and tossed us towards the exit!
The Dentist sure wasn’t messing around. He was looking for some new teeth to add to his collection. If you’re lucky, you’ll be chosen for a dental cleaning. Just know he’s a little trigger happy and may not leave you with many teeth!
The Butcher is one big boy. Step into his slaughterhouse and pray that he had enough to eat courtesy of the previous group. Fortunately, after a few sniffs he deemed us “tainted meat” and said the USDA wouldn’t allow such poor quality meat. He so kindly left us flee, but not before his chainsaw wielding brothers nearly hacked off our limbs!
The crazed patients roaming the asylum provided a bloody terrific time. They were proud to tell us that they’ve been taking their medications! Unfortunately they were having a rough go with their menstrual cycle and handed off their blood soaked tampons to one of our members, yuck!
The Doctor received his medical license from the local mortuary, and was proud to report he’s supposedly not had any “malpractice” cases of late… after going through a procedure under his supervision we find that hard to believe! Lay down on the exam table and be ready for a wide array of tests and procedures. If you’re lucky, someone might be chosen to be his assistant and be granted control of the suction unit! We have a feeling you won’t be feeling “better” after a visit to this Doctors office.
The comical clowns happily welcome you into their ice cream truck! Pull up a seat and be prepared to be turned into a human sundae! You’ll get doused in chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles! Make sure your mouths are closed or you may end up ingesting some of their gnarly concoction!
The redneck section kicks things off with someone's, “sister”, being in child labor. As we rounded the corner, all we saw was a bloody doll flying through the air. “How dare we not catch the baby”! As punishment the fast-talking older “brother” selects one member to “impregnate”, male or female (this fellow had no preference), as he tosses you up on the bed he’ll lift your legs over your head, and does the “deed”.
Hopefully the above examples should prepare you for what to expect on your journey, along with at least a dozen more scenes and actor interactions. Obviously due to the nature of our page and the variety in our readers we can’t specify the exact wording these scare actors utilize. Just know that it is surely abusive at times and vulgar in nature! We give major props to these scare actors for being absolutely committed to their roles and fully immersed into the experience! Their improv and fluidity in their interaction with guests comes second nature, truly making the experience feel life-like. The scare actors having the ability to touch, grab ahold of you, gently restrain you, and speak in a demeaning manner to you really makes for an interactive show. Job well done to the Halls of Horror cast & crew!
After a solid 20 minutes of being plastered with blood, various liquids, shaving cream, and other items/substances, we finally reached the exit. Other guests eagerly looked on in amazement at how disgusting everyone appears after experiencing Halls of Horror. After your experience, all guests get to have their photo taken sitting in one of the multiple Halls of Horror phot0-op booths. These photos are later uploaded to their Facebook page where guests can download them for free, we’ve always appreciated this! Eventually our entire crew successfully made it through the experience. As we cleaned ourselves up with the complimentary baby wipes, we easily spent 20 minutes chatting amongst ourselves about the different interactions with the actors. We all had to learn “who held the tampon?”, “who did the malpractice Doctor experiment on?”, who got impregnated?”, etc. The 20 minutes outside the haunt reminiscing on our experience was just as fun as the 20 minutes inside the attraction itself. One common theme was clear after our experience at Halls of Horror - we’ve never been so excited and amped up for a haunt like we were at Halls of Horror!
Yes, Halls of Horror doesn’t possess the most visually stunning scenes or movie quality costuming & makeup, but what they do possess is an exhilarating, spine-chilling, and unique experience unlike any other haunted attraction! We promise you’ve never experienced interaction with scare actors like you will at Halls of Horror! It may not be the most downright horrifying haunt experience but there’s certainly a fair share of spine-tingling startles! Halls of Horror has mastered the craft of providing an equally scary, comical, and bloody experience. We advise all avid haunt fans who don’t mind mature content, vulgar language, and getting absolutely disgusting to pay Halls of Horror a visit. Don’t be a wimp and make sure to do things the “correct” way by participating in the BLOOD EXPERIENCE! Thank you Halls of Horror for being different and providing an experience like we’ve never encountered before! Job well done Halls of Horror team!
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